The in-between stages of health and self love
The in-between stage of trying to get healthier but not exactly there yet. I don’t know if you can relate to this at all but it’s a tricky spot to be in. I have had this certain look, certain weight, certain style, etc that in my mind would only be obtained by being a stick figure. I recently realized how damaging this kind of mindset is. I lost on my own before almost 40 lbs before getting married. So I am aware it is possible to achieve a healthier me again but what I realized is that I was punishing myself.
You know what the sucky part of starting to workout and eating healthier? You don’t see results after day one. (Go figure) I’ve realized lately that you can’t get the outcome, if you don’t endure the process. Meaning, I had to realize getting healthy will be a process and if I love myself through the process then my outcome will be me healthier not only physically but mentally and spiritually.
For some reason I was stuck in this mindset of punishing myself, living in shame, and not allowing myself often to buy new clothes because I wasn’t my ideal weight or look. Not even embracing my love for fashion or wanting to make a blog or Youtube videos. I felt held back by my own mind and punished myself until I reached what I thought was best. I realized even if it’s 15 lbs or less at a time, I should celebrate each step forward. I was being so hard on myself that I couldn’t enjoy the small successes because I wasn’t where I wanted to be ideally.
Reality is, losing weight and getting healthier is a journey and a process but we can’t beat ourselves up along the way. I am starting to feel more comfortable and confident in my skin like never before. This whole mindset change has helped me to really love myself and want to take care of myself physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Those things are worth fighting for so that you can be whole and well as a person. So, I am on a new journey of taking care of myself as a whole person and I plan on celebrating my little successes on the way to the big goals.
I’ve always had a hidden quiet love for fashion but never expressed it much outwardly because it only seemed right for girls with perfect bodies without curves or extra love. Funny story, me and an old childhood friend even came up with our own clothing line back in the day called “Whacky Tacky” (We were like 12) and we started sewing outfits together and making pieces and different outfits together. I think it was embedded in me because my grandma would always sew and make clothes not only for me and my sister but also our barbies and dolls.
I’m excited to embrace myself now and learning fun fashion tips and tricks now and even more as I become more fit. I want to enjoy the process, embrace the journey, and love myself confidently the whole way. For anyone that has felt less than, without value, or worth. God says you are the most beautiful thing he’s laid eyes on, why? He created you in his image – you are unique, there is only ONE you, you’re a queen. ❤
Aubrey Danielle – Create to Inspire, Inspire to Create